its kind of heavy right now that makes my brain really slow to remember things and did not manage to settle a problem clearly. if only i know how to settle it. if  only i know how to manage it. if only i know how to control it. if only i know how to make me not hurting you. if only i know how not to make you sad. if only i know how not to make you mad. if only i know how to resolve our problem. if only i know how to make you happy. if only i know how to make you feel i'm not ignoring. if only i know how to manage my time so that we manage to contact everyday. if only i got the chance to give you read my brain. if only you can understand me. if only you can tell me what to do. if only you can tell me why. if only you can tell me. if only. i hate this word.